LGBTQ Guide: Where to Meet Queers

It’s a tale (and conundrum) as old as time: queers want to meet each other and make genuine connections, but sometimes we don't quite know how or where to start. We DoTheGay queers feel for you. We've been there. We totally get that dating and friend-making can be difficult and scary and weird at times (read: basically all the time). But we've also been gay in the Bay for a reasonably long time, so we feel confident enough to lead you on your journey to beautiful, gay love and/or friendship. Because you deserve it! Your people are out there! You've just got to find them! And we can help make that happen! I spy with my little gay eye, all the queers...

Bars (obviously)

Many of the Bay’s favorite divey queer bars like The Mix, The Stud, and The Edge have pool tables, back patios, and atmospheres more conducive to conversation than a club. It takes a bit of guts, but there are plenty of opportunities to hop in on a game with a cutie who needs a partner or buy a drink for that stud that just caught your eye. Not into pool? Try Brewcade or another arcade bar for a similar vibe. People may judge your pool skills, but no one judges you if you're bad at pinball.

Breweries + Beer Gardens

You can still get your drink on without full-on clubbing or bar-hopping thanks to the plethora of craft breweries in the Bay. Temescal Brewing in Oakland has become a favorite among Bay Area queers for their sunny outdoor patio and frequent queer events. Special event or not, you’d be hard pressed to NOT find a few gays at one of the many breweries scattered around, from Fieldwork in Berkeley all the way down to Alpha Acid in Belmont.

Tinder (YES, REALLY)

While Tinder and other dating apps might not work so well for the straights of the world, it has proven to be useful in more ways than one to the queer community. Whether you’re looking for a relationship, new friends, a tour guide, or a hookup, Tinder might just have who you’re looking for. Lots of queers use Tinder while traveling, so swipe right to make some friends you can visit around the globe. (Score!)

Parties

If there’s one thing we all know, it’s that the gays love to party. You’re bound to find a party pretty much anywhere in the Castro on any given night of the week. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something geared more towards the ladies or QTPOC, definitely check out our Lesbian Party Guide or try a spot like El Rio as opposed to the bars on the main drag of the Castro.

Special Events

Speaking of El Rio, the popular queer bar hosts some really rad events, such as Queeraoke every Wednesday night, live music, and comedy. Plenty of other gay bars and venues host similar events, and there are always open mic nights, poetry slams, art shows, workshops, and so on to attend. Check out our guide to more chill queer events for some ideas!

Sports

Whether you want to play a game or watch one, sports are an excellent way to make connections and build rapport with like-minded humans. Catch a few queer innings at Oakland A’s Pride Night and the SF Giant’s LGBT Night or watch Bay Area teams on the tube at Hi Tops. Outside of the professional realm, roller derby is always a good bet, plus you can find LGBTQ leagues with help from Varsity Gay League SF.

Drag Shows

If you’re always down for a party and a show, gag over kings and queens alike at an upcoming drag show! There’s nothing like locking eyes across the dancefloor or yelling “YAS KWEEN” in unison while watching drag royalty strut their stuff, so hop to it, hunty.

Dolores Park / Gay Beach

Dolores St. between 18th + 20th Streets, San Francisco // What a beautiful mess of different people, dogs, and strangers selling contraband. Plop down on a blanket at Gay Beach and watch it all go by with other beautiful queers or wander around and make some new friends!

Restaurants

There’s tons of awesome food in the Bay, and plenty of the spots serving up the good stuff are great places for meeting fellow queers. Lucky for you, we’ve done the heavy lifting on finding the gayest restaurants in the Bay, plus we know where to find bomb vegan bites (it’s a thing and you know it). Eat your heart out, kiddos.

Rainbow Grocery

1745 Folsom St., San Francisco // This employee-owned co-op is a favorite for its variety of vegetarian products not easily found elsewhere. Queers, vegheads and people looking to support local, worker-owned businesses flock to this shop. Plus, rainbow is in the name. We've been over this.

Qulture Collective

1714 Franklin St., Oakland // This place has it all: a cafe, a workspace, a gallery, and a venue. They host occasional events and even sell an artfully curated selection of handmade items from queer and queer-allied makers in their shop. It’s a great and safe spot to hang out with current and future queer friends!

Punk Bars

Though maybe not the most obvious correlation, lots of queers tend to hang out at punk bars like Eli’s Mile High Club in Oakland. Plus, punks are rad, so it’s a win-win either way.

Strolling Around The Castro

It should go without saying that you’ll find queers in the places queers go, and most of queers end up in the Castro for one thing or another. You’re sure to run into some cool people just walking around, so don’t be afraid to toss out a genuine compliment and strike up a conversation! Just mind the line between compliments and cat-calling, as well as the fact that some people aren’t always in the mood to chat. Don't know where to start when it comes to the most famous gayborhood in America? We can help.

Your crowd is out there, we promise. But before you go and find them, peep our guides to chill queer events, how to do drag in the Bay, and our favorite old school gay bars.

Written by Alex Killian